Life gives you moments of happiness as well as despair. Don’t people always say that? I think the paradox nature of life is a truth we all know but have trouble accepting.
Some times, you come across situations where you feel clamped by reality. It feels like you do not hold the choice to the way you respond to circumstances around you. You feel the urgency to break free so that you find who you are.
Freedom is the right that we, as living creatures, are entitled to. Most of us have to undergo tremendous emotional labor whenever we seek freedom from structural and socio-political institutions. The harsh truth is that when it comes to freedom of our thoughts, that emotional labor is doubly-exploited.
This turns very challenging for our minds to function properly. The good news is that when life gives you lemons, you do not have to turn them into lemonade right then, right there. You have to learn that good and permanent changes take time and patience.
Listening to your mind is the first step to building a free reality. We always force ourselves to feel okay. However, our feelings get affected by external factors that make us respond in a certain way. The immediate need to feel okay often represses emotions, hindering the long-term healing.
It is time we learned to focus on permanent recovery that gives us the freedom of our mind, once and for all. We have listed out some caring habits that we believe can render you free:
1. Trusting Things Around you
Whenever we face episodes of heartbreak and trauma, we instinctively start blaming ourselves for placing our trust in a dream, a person, or an idea that we had kept close to ourselves. It is natural to feel angry. However, it is also important to acknowledge that you do not stop trusting.
That is not to say that you lose reason and logic in the process. It simply means accepting change and having the ability to trust again without blaming. It is also important that you learn to trust yourself more than others. Trust your reality, your present, and your efforts. Trust the fact that growth is natural.
2. Encourage and Embrace
Freedom comes from helping others have their freedom. You should learn to see that every action comes from a place of social and emotional baggage. Sometimes we can stand against the power of the past but sometimes we are deterred.
That does not determine a person’s ability. Encouraging others brings you emotional rewards. You feel happy to belong to someone’s growth. It gives you the energy to contribute to some development that you can see, encouraging you to focus on your growth as well.
Have you noticed that whenever a struggle leads to revolution and freedom, it is through a mass movement? Whether it was the political French Revolution that challenged the power of monarchy or the social movement against slavery for freedom of African-Americans or the most recent Gay Liberation Movement, freedom followed in their wake because of collectiveness.
The urge to free oneself dies if exhaustion takes over. This applies to all personal, professional, and political segments which are often overlapping. Encouraging others is necessary because that is how you learn to encourage yourself.
Freedom is a function of solidarity. Many researchers have proved that supporting our friends and family can help them recover from even the most chronic forms of trauma. By supporting others, you give them a hope that love exists in the purest form. Anyone who gives love out has enough within them.
Glasser’s Choice Theory sanctions the five points mentioned in this article, along with respecting and negotiating differences, as markers that give you the freedom to choose the way things happen to and around you. While criticism is necessary for personal growth, it should always come alongside support and care.
How difficult is it to find ways to extend help to others? We believe that it is an easy activity if you can understand the person’s situations While you cannot put yourself in their place, you must empathize. Supporting others involves a sense of responsibility.
You should understand your privileges when you lend your support to someone. You should find out the roots and listen better. When you are good at supporting others, you feel responsible and mature.
How often do you feel unheard? Well, most of the time we are unable to communicate. This problem is universal and the reason is that we are poor listeners.
The idea that we listen to respond is not a myth. It has been prevalent since forever and you can find its traces in your daily responses. When your thoughts are muddled, listening with the intent to understand becomes important.
Otherwise, you give your mind excuses to complicate things further. Many psychoanalytic theories say that the human mind tends to find complexity in even the simplest of solutions and thoughts.
Listening challenges this ability of the brain. It gives you a side of the story that needs to be heard and amplified for your brain to process. When you can tell yourself the truth by listening, it will set you free.
In doing so, you give space to the thoughts that others would have locked in a closet. Listening helps in understanding perspectives, thus convincing your mind to believe that things do not happen the way we want them to.
We learned the importance of accepting when we saw a minor instance in our workplace. We were always in awe of Kristie, one of our co-workers, because of her work ethic and skills. Last October, she lost her extremely close friend, Mary, to cancer. Mary and Kristie have shared a special bond since they were 15.
The loss affected Kristie differently. She was unable to come to terms with reality. The fact that she could not accept the truth affected her well-being. Although Kristie worked as diligently as before, she did not feel the energy.
Her anxieties began to control her entire disposition. She kept switching jobs and cities but the urge to feel free of the past did not leave her. This April, Kristie finally met Mary’s mom. The reality of Mary’s death dawned on her. Mary’s mom helped her accept reality. Gradually, Kristie picked up where she left.
You cannot expect your mind to function the way you want it if you do not accept reality. Be more open to change and learn to accept it gracefully. Then, take charge of your thoughts and organize them.
If you want to take control of your ideas and beliefs, you must learn to choose how you respond to circumstances. To have such a choice is what freedom is about.